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The best jokes and joke writers!

Piss Your Girlfriend Off

Q: How do you piss your girlfriend off when your having sex?

A: Call her up

Asked Me Out

"Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room." - Phyllis Diller

Stripper Date

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class. 

Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down they want some too.

Alabama Girl

A girl from Alabama asked me if I found her attractive.

I said, "You've got a face only a brother could love."

Date Getting Hit On

A man and his girlfriend go out to a bar for the evening. When they arrive, the man realizes he has to pee, so he goes into the bathroom and does his business. When he comes back, he sees a man conversing with his date. His date looks intimidated, so he weaves his way through the tables to her, but by the time he gets there, the man is walking away. He looks at his girlfriend and asks, "What did that guy want?" She looks at him and says, "He said he was going to fill up my pussy with ice cream and eat it all up!" The man grows pale and grabs her arm and says, "Come on, let's get out of here." She looks surprised and asks, "Aren't you going to defend me?" And he says, "Sweetie, anyone who can eat that much ice cream must be a god!"