Joy Ride

Got caught joyriding last night.
Joy's husband went fucking crazy.

Bill And Bob's Wives

Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. For the third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
 
Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now?
Bob Darts?
Bill Nah.
Bob Shoot some pool?
Bill Nah.
Bob Cards?
Bill Nah. Hey! I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and fool around with my wife.
Bob Whadaya mean?
Bill Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around with my wife.
Bob What about me?
Bill She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
Bob Well... if you think it's okay...
Bill Sure. C'mon, let's go!
(At Bill's House)
Bill Honey, I'm home. Honey. Sweetheart! Damn! She must have gone shopping. Tell ya what, Bob. Let's go to your house!

What Really Pissed Me Off

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset.
"What's the matter, buddy?" asks the bartender. "It's a long story. I met this beautiful woman who invited me back home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and were just about to make love when her goddamned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the edge by my fingernails without any clothes on!''
''Gee, that's tough!'' commiserated the bartender. ''Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated. When her husband came into the room, he wanted to have sex with her -- but he had to piss first. And the lazy son of a bitch pissed out the window right onto my head!" ''Yeech! No wonder you're in a lousy mood." ''Yeah, but I haven't told you what really really made me mad. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished the husband tossed his condom out the window. And where does it land? On my goddamned forehead!'' ''Damn, that really is a drag!'' ''Oh, I'm not finished! See, what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. Turns out that their toilet was broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head!'' ''That would sure mess up my day." ''Yeah, yeah, yeah, but do you know what REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!''