Sweet Revenge

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Labor Pain

A woman in labor is in pain and screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed.
He says, "Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to stick it in your ass, but N-O-O-O-O, you said that might hurt!"

Housekeeper Hits

A man is about to enter a meeting at work when he realizes that he forgot some important paperwork. He calls home so that his wife can retrieve them. He recently hired a new maid and she answers the phone and says that his wife is busy. He demands that the maid put his wife on the phone. The maid informs the man that his wife is in bed with the gardener. The man goes nuts, and offers the maid one million dollars to shoot them both. The maid agrees and he soon hears two gunshots. The maid returns to the phone and he asks her what happened. The maid says she shot his wife in bed and the gardener ran, so she shot him by the pool. The man says, "Pool??? Is this 555-4320???"