Why Worry?

The next door neighbor of a middle-aged wife came over to inform her that her retired husband was chasing around after young prostitutes. The woman smiled, "So what?" The neighbor was surprised, "It doesn't bother you that he's running around with those women?" The woman replied, "I also have a little dog who chases cars and buses, too."

Marriage Quotes 8

• If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way.
• In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
• In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!
• Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. - Rich Little
• Joint Checking Account: a handy little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw.
• Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. - Oscar Wilde
• Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
• Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.
• Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
• Man and wife make one fool.

Jack Shit

For some time, many of us have wondered who is Jack Sh*t? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You dont know Jack Sh*t." Well, thanks to my efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Sh*t is the only son of Awe Sh*t, who married O Sh*t, the owners of Knee Deep 'N Sh*t, Inc. In turn, Jack Sh*t married No Sh*t. The couple had six children, Holy Sh*t, Giva Sh*t, Fulla Sh*t, Bull Sh*t, and the twins Deep Sh*t and Dip Sh*t. Deep Sh*t married Dumb Sh*t, a high school dropout. After 15 years, Jack and Noe Sh*t got divorced, and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe Sh*t Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Sh*t married Lotta Sh*t and had a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Sh*t. Fulla Sh*t and Giva Sh*t married the Happens brothers, and had a double wedding. The newspaper invited everyone to the Sh*t-Happens wedding. Bull Sh*t traveled the world and returned home with an Italian bride, Pisa Sh*t. So from now on, no one can tell you that you don't know Jack Sh*t!