Old Age Flirtation

Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends... ." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom -- where else?!"

Angelic Husband

A woman tells her friend, "My husband is an angel." Her friend replies, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

Parting Gift

At the funeral home, the widow instructs the mortician to cut off her late husband's penis and shove it up his rectum. The mortician objects, but threatening not to pay, he relents. Later, at the coffin closing, the wife bends down to kiss her husband goodbye, and she sees a tear coming from his eye. She says "Hurts doesn't it, you son of a bitch!"