Wedding Performance

On the eve of his wedding night, a confused young man calls his father to ask him about his upcoming performance. "Dad," says the son, "what do I do tonight? I'm very nervous." "Don't worry," comforts the father. "It's all very simple. Remember that thing you used to play with as a teenager?  Well, you just take that and stick it where your wife pees." So that night, the now-confident young man takes his G.I. Joe and throws it in the toilet!

Cheat Day

Bob and his wife started dieting a week ago. His wife proposed that they should have a cheat day today.
She brought home KFC wings and a Big Mac from McDonalds. Bob brought home his secretary.
From his hospital bed, Bob is wondering when men will ever begin to understand women.

Cowboy in a Barber Shop

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room." She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that. The cowboy said, "Tell him your working overtime and I'll pay you the difference." She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."