Bad Day Signs

• You wake up on pavement.
• You can't find the clothes you wore home from the party.
• Your twin forgets your birthday.
• You wake up to discover your waterbed broke, and then remember you don't have a waterbed.
• You wake up with your mouth guard stuck, and then remember you don't wear a mouth guard.
• Your blind date turns out to be your ex-husband.
• You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
• Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.

Same Aid

One way to live together and never have an argument is for both husband and wife to be hard-of-hearing... and to share the same hearing aid.

Ten Years Later

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.