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Relationship Jokes

Getting Married
Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."
Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts."
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Sex Maniac
In desperation, the young bride finally wrote to Xaviera Hollander:
I'm married to a sex maniac. My husband never leaves me alone. He makes love to me all night long, while I'm in the shower, while I'm cooking breakfast, while I'm making the beds, and even while I'm trying to clean the house. Can you tell me what to do?
Signed,
Worn Out
P.S. Please excuse the jerky handwriting.
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Rodeo Sex
Have you heard about the latest sensation? It's called "Rodeo Sex". That's when you mount your wife doggy style and in the middle of the act you whisper in her ear, "Your sister has a tighter pussy than you", then try to hold on for 8 seconds!
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