Mugged

I got mugged by a thief last night on my way home from work. He pointing a knife at me and said, "Your money or your life!" I told him I was married so I have no money and I have no life.
We hugged and cried together. It was a beautiful moment.

Interrupted

A young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm.
"Heavens," she cried, "it's my husband! Quick, jump out the window."
The young man, equally alarmed, made a quick step toward the window, then demurred. "I can't," he said, "we're on the thirteenth floor."
"For heaven's sake," cried the young lady in exasperation, "is this a time to be superstitious?"

Lady Tattoo

My girlfriend has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean.