A kid, just getting home from school runs up to his dad.
"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that can count to ten. Why do you reckon so?" he asked.
"Why, that's because your from Kentucky son." The dad responsed.
The next day the kid gets home from school.
"Daddy, daddy! I'm the only one in my class that knows all the letters in the alphabet. Why do you reckon so?"
"That's because you're from Kentucky son." The dad tells him again.
The next day the kid busts through the door.
"Daddy. daddy! I'm the only one in school who has a large penis, is that because I'm from Kentucky?"
The dad looks at him and says, "No that's because you're 22."
Stopping The Hillbilly
This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over. "You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked "'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.
A hillbilly from West Virginia returns to his doctor after having some tests and asks what the results were. The doctor explains that he has some bad news, in fact, the patient is HIV positive. "Hell, " says the man, "You can't trust anybody nowadays, not even your own kids!"
Polish New Car Is Busted
A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and start busting up his new car. They look back and he is smiling. They hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car." He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times."
Using the Outhouse
Because his son wasn't the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly. "Now you lissen good, Dan'l, 'cuz here's whatcha gotta do. One: Take out your penie-pipe. Two: Pull back the foreskin. Three: Pee. Four: Push back your foreskin. Five: Put your equipment back."
The boy said he understood, but the next day while he was working at his still, Joe's wife came running over. "Oh, Joe, Joe, come quick! Dan'l went ta piss an' won't come out of the outhouse!"
"Hell, whut's he doin' in there?" Joe said.
"I dunno. He jess keeps sayin' 'Two-four, two-four, two-four......'"