Redneck Logic

Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below. He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters look up and they both fire their double barrel shotguns at him. When the hang glider was out of sight one of the hunters turns to the other and says, "What kinda bird you reckon that was?" The other hunter replied, "I don't rightly know, but I think we hit it. "How's that?" "You saw how fast he dropped that man he was caring, didn't ya?"

Redneck Family Tree

You know you're a redneck when your family tree is a wreath.

Redneck One Liners

You might be a redneck if...

• Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
• You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
• You're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
• You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
• Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
• The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection (your insurance man is a redneck too if he pays you for it).
• You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
• You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
• You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
• Your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.