
You might be a Redneck
If the primary color of your car is "Bond-O."
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More You Might Be A Redneck
You might be a redneck if...
- You have guns in your house that you cannot find.
- You think a night of fine dining is going to the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart while the automotive department is raising your truck another 8 inches.
- You think Wal-Mart is expensive.
- You've got more guns "On Display" than Wal-Mart Sporting Goods.
- You have ever written a check for less than a dollar.
- Your horse wears shoes, but you don't.
- It doesn't bother you when you walk through a barn barefooted.
- You name your twin boys Jack and Daniel.
- You ask your 10-year old son how to spell a word.
- Your dog is your alarm clock.
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Redneck Forecast
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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No Crack
If a sign reads say no to crack and you pull up your pants then you might just be a redneck.
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How to Speak Southern
How to talk native SOUTHERN in one easy lesson
- Aig - What a hen lays
- Aints - He's got aints in his paints
- Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a mornin
- Arn - Ma's tard of arnin
- Bag - He bagged her to marry him
- Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence
- Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.
- Bub - the light bub burned out
- Cheer - What you set in
- Crick - A small stream
- Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any 'coon
- Chiny - country over in Asia
- Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes
- Core - He got hisself a new Ford core
- Cyow - Animal on Farm
- Deppity - He helps out the shurf
- Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt
- Dainz - Satidy night social
- Ellum - A graceful tree
- Fanger - What you put your rang on
- Faince - Whats round the hawg lot
- Far - What get the brandin arn hot
- Furred - He got furred from his job
- Flar - A rose is a purdy flar
- Frash - Them aigs ain't frash
- Furiners - All non-'bamans
- Further - Hits ten miles further to town
- Grain - She was grain with envy
- Hail - Where bad folks go
- Hep - Poor George, he can't hep it, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
- Hern - It aint hern, it's his'n
- Hilbilly - People in the next county
- Hollar - Whats between the hills
- Hardhand - Got a brend new hardhand
- Tar - His core blew a tar
- Laymun - A sour fruit
- Laig - Most folks have two of them
- Lather - What you climb up
- Liberry - Where you go to check out books for larnin
- Mailk - what you get from cyows
- Mere - What you see your self in
- Minners - Live bait
- Misrus - Married Woman
- Nar - Opposite of wide
- Nayk - Your head sets on it
- Nup - No
- Orrel - Them hinges need orrel
- Ormy - What the sojers go in
- Pank - A light red color
- Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow
- Petition - What separate the rooms
- Poke - A paper bag or sack
- Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in Poke
- Salit - A green vegetable
- Puppet - What the preacher is in
- Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher
- Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig
- Rang - You wear it on your fanger
- Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts
- Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town
- Rainch - A big cow farm
- Rat - Do it rat now!
- Rench - Rench the soap yourself
- Roont - She plum roont her shoes
- Salary - A stringy vegetable
- Soardeens - Small canned fish
- Shar - A light rain
- Gully Worsher - A medium heavy rain
- Toad strangler - A heavy rain
- Sody Pop - A soft drink
- Sprang - Water out'n the ground
- Shurf - The Shurf put Clem in jail
- Storch - This here aprn has to much storch in it
- Skeered - that plumb skeered me to death
- Thanks - He shore thanks he's smart
- Tho - Tho me the ball
- Thoat - I shore got a sore thoat
- War - A bobbed war fance
- Worsh - Go worsh your face
- Warter - What you worsh your face in
- Yurp - A continent overseas
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