Prime Weed

Q: What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?
A: The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.

How did I get here?

A little girl asked her mother how she got here. Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we fucked without a condom.”

Weights and Measures

Science Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyrone: Umm, depends on what you need.