Light Bulb - Liberals

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.

New Born Puppies

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. Zohran Mamdani was on his morning run, and asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box. The little boy said, "Socialist." Mamdani beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Atta boy!" A few weeks later Mamdani was walking down the same street but this time he was with Bernie Sanders.  Zohran stopped at the boy's house, winked at Bernie and said, "Hey kid, what kind of puppies are in the box?" The boy said, "Republicans" Mamdani looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Socialists!" The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."

Biden's New Golf Rules

President Biden has recently appointed a Golf Czar and major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective September 1,2021. This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2000 pages) is being rewritten as we speak
Here are a few of the changes.
Golfers with handicaps: 
- below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35% 
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees 
- above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play
The term "gimmie" will be changed to “entitlement" and will be used as follows: 
- handicaps below 10, no entitlements
- handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
- handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again. 
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above. 
This is intended to "re-distribute" the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only "net score" against every other player's "gross score". These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. 
Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility. This is "The Right Thing to do - Man"