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The best jokes and joke writers!

President's Panties Patch

Perplexed White House staffers see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties pinned to his sleeve. As the day wears on, several VIPs go in and out of the Oval Office, each one leaving with a puzzled expression. Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary, walks into the office and gently closes the door behind her. "Mr. President," she says. "We're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a woman's pair of panties on your arm." "Oh no," the President grins, "it's the patch. I'm trying to quit."

Kamala Inspiration

Q: Is Kamala Harris a role model?

A: Yes, she is an inspiration to young girls showing that if you sleep with the right powerfully connected men then you too can play second fiddle to a man with dementia. It's basically a Cinderella story.

How Did Bill and Hillary Clinton Meet?

Q: How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?

A: They were both dating the same girl in high school.

More Hilarious Al Gore Quotes and Blunders

  • "I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."
  • "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
  • "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
  • "Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
  • "Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts."
  • "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
  • "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
  • "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have tremendous impact on history."
  • "When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
  • "The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make."

Clinton Vacation

Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way. As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station owner today." She smirked and replied, "No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the United States."