Government Scam

The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

Hillary Pregnant?

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant! She is furious. She just became the senator of New York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant!  How could you??!!!  I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have you got to say???" There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, "Did you hear me??!!" Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"

Trump Code Name

Trump's Secret Service is going to have a problem.
If someone shoots at him, they will yell "Donald Duck, Donald Duck"