Some Famous Lines in Jistory!

As Jack the Ripper's mother said to her son, "How come you never go out with the same girl twice?"
As Caesar said, "Let me mix that salad!"
As Moses said to God, "Let me see if I have it right - the Arabs get the oil and we get to cut off the tips of our WHAT?"
As George Washington said when he was crossing the Delaware, "I can't understand it. I paid for a seat!"
As Jesse James said to his brother Frank, "We can't rob that bank. That's where we keep our money!"
As Vincent Van Gogh said after he cut off his ear, "Don't shout!"

Unlucky

Saw a sign in a shop window that said "Big Sale. Last Week"
Just my luck, missed it.

A Mouseketeer!

Q: What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A:  A mouseketeer!