Still Got It

I've sure gotten old; I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts, have bouts with dementia, have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. I've lost all my friends, but thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!

Older Men

An old guy was in Costco the other day, pushing his shopping cart around when he collided with a young guy who was also pushing a cart. He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says,  "That's OK. It's just a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, " Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with long blond hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra.
What does your wife look like?" The old guy said, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours." Most older men are helpful like that.

Grandma's Condition

Q: What's that wrinkly thing on Grandma?
A: Grandpa.