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The best jokes and joke writers!

Locked in the Trunk

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

Monday, December 7, 1992 Joe Albert Ruiz, 19, was arrested in Santa Maria in September. Police said he had broken into a car in the middle of the night and was in the trunk, disconnecting the rear speakers, when the trunk closed and locked him in. Neighbors reported strange noises, and a police officer called to the scene heard Ruiz banging on the trunk and yelling, "Let me out!" 

Dad Stealing

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Wrong Bank Robbery

A man went into a Wells Fargo bank and planned to rob it. He got a deposit slip and wrote on it: "This iz a stikup. Put all the munny in this bag." Then he stood in line. But he got nervous thinking that someone might have seen him write the note. So he left the bank and crossed the street to the Bank of America. He waited in line, then handed the note to the teller. After reading the note, the teller determined that the man was not very bright. So he told him he could not accept the stickup note because it was written on a Wells Fargo deposit slip. He would either have to fill out a Bank of America deposit slip or go back to the Wells Fargo. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK," and returned to the Wells Fargo where he was arrested while standing in line.

Why The Big Fight?

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

Please Send Help

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that her the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door." The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?" He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man." The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour." The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"