Two Plus Two

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, ''What is 2+2?'' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''4.'' Then the mathematician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, ''4.0.'' Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, ''What do you want it to be?''

Irish Math

Q: In what town lives the mathematician who can only multiply by two?
A: Dublin.

Flight Risk

A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non- has terrible flight panic.
"Hey, don't worry, it's just every 10000th flight that crashes."
"1:10000? So much? Then it surely will be mine!"
"Well, there is an easy way out. Simply take the next plane. It's much more probable that you go from a crashing to a non-crashing plane than the other way round. So you are already at 1:10000 squared."