We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Chromosomes

Q: How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes?

A: Pull down their genes!

Guide To Science

Handy guide to modern science: If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Marine Biology

Q: Why did the college student fail his marine biology class?

A: His grade was below C level.

Replacing Lab Rats with Lawyers

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

  1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.
  2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.
  3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.
  4. There are some things even a rat won't do.

Lawyers for Experiments

Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?

A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.