Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
A: He conditioned it.
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?" "I said '6'" "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" His father asks, "What's the fucking difference?" Johnny says, "That's exactly what I said!"
Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You're pointless !
Two men walk into a bar. First one says "I'll have an H20."
Second man says, "You know what? I'll have an H20 too."
The second man dies.
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they'll never meet.