When to Wean

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.

Teen Girls

Q: Why do you always see teen girls in groups of three?
A: Because they literally can't even.

Spelling

A kindergartner was practicing spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom had been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, he bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D.
"Look what I spelled, Mom!" with a proud smile on his face.
"That's wonderful!" his mom praised him. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." The mom happily thought that her son's Catholic education was certainly having an impact. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen:
"Mom? How do you spell 'zilla'?"