Remarkable Mom

The most remarkable thing about our mother is that for 30 years she served our family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Proud Of Daddy

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

Semantics

Q: What did the boy say when his Mom told him to stop pulling the cat’s tail?
A: I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.