Everybody's Doing it

This boy was ordered from the pool for pissing in the water. "That's ridiculous!" he shouted at the pool manager. "Everybody does it." "That may be so," came the reply, "but usually not from the diving board."

Eating with Children

A guy hosted a dinner party for people from work, including his boss.  All during the sit-down dinner, the host's three-year-old girl stared at her father's boss sitting across from her.
The girl could hardly eat her food from staring.  The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him.
He tried his best to just ignore her but, finally it was too much for him.  He asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response.
The little girl said, "My Daddy said you drink like a fish and I don't want to miss it!"

Naked Lady

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."