Losing Weight

A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.   "How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?", he asked.  Quickly, the Doctor replied, "That would be easy.  Cut your head off."

Blonde Horseback Riding

A blonde decides to try horseback riding. On her first outing, the bouncing horse causes her to lose control. As she's thrown from the horse, her foot catches in the stirrup, so she lands head first. Just as she loses consciousness, the carnie stops the carousel.

Yo Mama - Stuck Between Poles

Yo mama so fat, she once got stuck between the North and South Pole.