Face to Face

Person 1: "Hey, how's your face feeling?"
Person 2: "Fine. Why?"
Person 1: "Because it's killing me!"

Good Place To Eat

Have you ever walked up to a really fat person, and asked them for a good place to eat? Then when they look at you and say they don't know, you look at them, like, "You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we're going to be eating."

Born Ugly

When you were born, you were so ugly, the doctor slapped your mother.