Business One-Liners 92

• Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.
• Only a fool can reproduce another fool's work.
• Only a mediocre person is always at their best.
• Only them as knows their own...knows.
• Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.
• One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.
• Old age is always fifteen years older than you are.
• It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
• Never speculate on that which can be known for certain.

Must Be Out of Shape

The Top Signs You're Out of Shape

1. You've ever torn something just trying to turn off the alarm clock.
2. People at work only refer to you by saying "Hey fatso!"
3. You've thrown your back out by carrying a bag of groceries.
4. Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach and expect you to giggle.
5. Your record is 34 push-ups and you could have done more if the Ice Cream Man would have taken plastic.
6. You get the Christmas gift of Jigglin' To The Oldies.
7. You cramp up while watching the New York City Marathon.
8. Watching Rocky 5 is your idea of a workout video.
9. The sales clerk nicely but firmly pulls you away from the jeans rack and whispers "Its Sansabelt Time, Tubby".

Sex Position

Q: What sexual positions make the ugliest babies?
A: I don't know; ask Yo Mama.