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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Porcupine and the BMW

Q: What's the difference between a Porcupine and a BMW?

A: The BMW has the pricks on the inside!

You Asked

Two women are in the hospital. Their labor has started, but not progressed enough for delivery, so they are in a room waiting together. "Is this your first child?" says the older woman. "No," says the younger woman. "I have another."

"I have three." Continues the older woman. "After the first kid, my husband was so sweet. He bought me a diamond necklace."

"Oh, how nice." Said the young woman.

"After the second, he bought me a new car. He said I deserve the best."

"Oh, how nice." Said the younger woman.

"And after the third, he bought us a new house. It was expensive, but he said his family was worth it."

"Oh, how nice." Said the younger woman.

"So, what has your husband gotten you?"

"Well, we only have one child. After he was born, my husband thought I needed to clean up my language, so he got me lessons at charm school."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Now instead of saying 'go fuck yourself,' I say 'oh, how nice'."

Business One-Liners 92

  • Only a bureaucracy can fight a bureaucracy.
  • Only a fool can reproduce another fool's work.
  • Only a mediocre person is always at their best.
  • Only them as knows their own...knows.
  • Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.
  • One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.
  • Old age is always fifteen years older than you are.
  • It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  • Never speculate on that which can be known for certain.