A girl gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on one thigh and a turkey on the other. She wants to show that there is something good to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Little Johnny at Thanksgiving
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman." The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats." At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut." A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to at the first Thanksgiving feast?
A: Plymouth Rock!
Q: What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
A: We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving
Black Friday Deals
Got a great Black Friday deal on a 65" 4K TV for $29.99 today.
Of course, there was a catch... The volume was stuck at the max setting so it was incredibly loud.
But for $29.99, I couldn't turn it down.