Pee Stop

Walking home after a blowout Halloween party, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!" "That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"

Pumpkin Carving

Getting in the mood for Halloween. I've just carved up a pumpkin.
That kid regretted his costume choice.

Angry Witch

Q:Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!