Christmas Tree Hunting

Two funny blondes traveled 2 hours from town and walked deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree. They were all warmly dressed from head to toe carrying their saw, hatchet and a rope to drag the Christmas tree back to the car. They had thought of every little detail planning this trip.
The two blondes were so determined to find the perfect Christmas tree. So determined, that they searched for hours slugging through knee-deep snow, blistering wind and weren't even distracted! Finally, five hours had passed and the sun was beginning to set, so one blonde turned to the other blonde and said, "I GIVE UP! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! There are hundreds of beautiful Christmas trees all around us. Let's just cut one down whether it's decorated or not!!"

Christmas Eve Dyslexic

Let's spare a thought for dyslexic children around the world this Christmas eve.
Lying awake in bed, worried sick about having Satan climb down their chimney.

3 Christmas Blondes

Q: What do you call 3 blondes under a Christmas tree?
A: Ho-Ho-Ho!