Bad Valentine Timing

Q: Why was the Valentine Late?
A: It came by U.S. Snail  !

Piggy BFF

Q: What do you call pigs who send Valentines?
A: Pen pals.

Top 10 Valentine Card Rejects

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk but the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store in hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished but now I'm fulfilled SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass our love has grown but so has your ass.
3. You're a honey and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny so, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister, you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!