Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

Believing in Santa

Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Clause. Unfortunately, so did my parents, so I never got anything!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: Charlie Viracola

Halloween Cab

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!" The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley." He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."

Anonymous

Easter Bunny

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: Anonymous