Halloween Costume

Q: What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?
A: They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops.

Top 10 Reasons For Santa's Raise

10. The hours, the weather, the trend toward smaller chimneys.

9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.

8. Reindeer and elves have unionized, driving up his cost.

7. New tax on flying sleighs.

6. Insurance for flying a sleigh has tripled over the past two years.

5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.

4. Air traffic controllers demanding higher kickbacks.

3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.

2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.

1. The Mrs. told him to.

Who Would You Trust?

Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions? An in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.