Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

Black Friday Deals

Got a great Black Friday deal on a  65" 4K TV for $29.99 today.
Of course, there was a catch... The volume was stuck at the max setting so it was incredibly loud.
But for $29.99, I couldn't turn it down.

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Thanksgiving Jokes)
Anonymous

Christmas Parrot

A woman is looking for a Christmas present for her husband. She walks by a pet shop and sees a beautiful parrot. A tag on the cage says $50. “Why so little?” she asks. The store manager says, “This bird used to live in a house of prostitution. It has kind of a vulgar mouth.” The woman decides to buy the parrot anyway. She brings the parrot home and puts his cage near the Christmas tree. First thing the bird says is, “New house, new madam.” She's a little shocked but figures that’s not so bad. When her two daughters get home from school, the bird sees them and says, “New house, new madam, new girls.” The woman is surprised, but she figures the parrot will straighten out once it figures out who everybody is. A little while later, the woman’s husband, Frank, comes home from work. As he walks in the door, the bird says: “Hi Frank.”

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes)
Anonymous

Xmas Coal

For anyone else getting coal for Christmas, maybe we can link up and get the grill going or something.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes)
Submitted BY: MEG