Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

Determination

Two 5 year old black kids (boy and girl) went out trick or treating in a rich Texas suburb. The other kids said this Texas Oil Billionaire was giving out iPods. So they knocked on this guys door and said trick or treat. The guy said, "What are you dressed as?" The little girl said, "Jack 'n Jill." The guy said, "You cant be Jack 'n Jill, you're black." So the kids left and came back and the guy said, "And what are you guys supposed to be this time?" The little girl said, "Hansel 'n Gretel." The guy says, "You can't be Hansel 'n Gretel, you're black." So the kids leave upset only to come back a few minutes later. This time they were naked. The guys says, "And just what are you supposed to be now?" The little girl says, "M&M’s, I’m plain and he got nuts"

Anonymous

Yo Mama - Christmas

Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it.

Anonymous

Knock Knock - Christmas

Knock, knock? 
Who's there?
Megan and chicken
Megan and chicken who?
He's megan a list and chicken it twice, he's gonna find out who's naughty and nice...

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Anonymous