To The Dump

You might be a redneck if you come back from the dump with more than you took.

Big Chief, No Fart

The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor.
"Big Chief no fart," She tells the doctor. The doctor tells her to give the chief three pills a day.
The girl comes back the next day and tells the doctor, "Big Chief no fart." The doctor then gets really worried and tells her to give him ten pills an hour.
The girl comes back the next day and says, "Big Chief no fart." After hearing this the doctor gets so pissed off that he tells her to give him a jar an hour.
The next day the girl comes back crying and says "Big fart no Chief!"

Ate Her First

Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. "No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm." "No, she isn't," said Johnny. "Why not?" "Because I ate her first!"