The Bear and The Rabbit

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes." The bear says "I wish that all of the bears in the forest were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." **POOF** It is done. The bear says "I wish all the bears in this country were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house." **POOF** It is done. The bear thought to himself "Why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things?" Finally, the bear says "For my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female." **POOF** It is done. The rabbit says "For MY last wish, I wish for the bear to be gay" and he rode off on his motorcycle.

The Third Wish

A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. Of course, the genie popped out and said, "I will grant you three wishes."  The man's first wish was to get out of the pit. **POOF** He was instantly transported out. He then wished for all the gold in the world. **POOF** The genie gave him all the gold nuggets in the world, all the gold bars, all the gold pebbles, everything. The man could not think of anything for his third wish, so he went out for a ride in his Ferrari. He turned on the radio, and after a few minutes and a catchy song came on. He started to sing along, "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner..." and **POOF**

Frog Defense

I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly.