All in the Family

A worried father telephones his doctor who is a close family friend and tells him that his teenage son has come down with a venereal disease. “He thinks he caught it from the maid,” says the father. “Don’t worry too much,” says the doctor. “These things happen.” “I know,” says the father. “But I’ve been sleeping with the maid too. And now I seem to have the same symptoms.” “That’s unfortunate,” says the doctor. “But try not to get distressed.” “That’s not all,” says the man. “I think I’ve passed it to my wife.” “Christ Almighty!” shouts the doctor. “That means we all have it!”

Baby Chick Vocabulary

Q: Why do baby chicks say "cheap, cheap, cheap?"
A: Because they can't say "expensive, expensive, expensive!"

Yogi Berra Quotes

• "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
• "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."
• "If the people don't want to come out to the park, nobody's gonna stop them."
• "No wonder nobody comes here; it's too crowded."
• "We made too many wrong mistakes."
• "You can observe a lot by just watching."
• "I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4."