Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years.
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy.
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better.
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar War Dims Hope For Peace.
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While.
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years.

Lost Dog

He lost his dog, but he won't put an ad in the newspaper. He says it's no use -- his dog can't read.

Stealth Condom

Q: Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
A: They'll never see you coming.