Media Ads

Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on the phone you hear a radio station?

Penal Enlargement Announcement

I was actually thinking about getting penal enlargement surgery -- thought I'd share that with everybody. But the surgery is dangerous, and it's really expensive. But I found this great, safe alternative to penal enlargement surgery: the metric system.

Actual Signs

• Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little."
• Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."
• Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."
• Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
• Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."
• Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."
• Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."
• Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write."
• Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."