Table Manners

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?" Bill replied with "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?" Tom said "The smaller piece, of course." Bill shot back "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

Cannibal Family

Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!

Replace Your Mom

Two cannibals, a father and son, are walking down the street, when they notice a hot girl passing by. The son says to the father, "Daddy, I'm hungry, let’s eat that girl that just passed by." The father replies, "I've got a better idea son, let’s take this one home and eat your mother instead!"