Q: "Johnny, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?" exclaimed the angry mother.
A: “It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”
Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self-pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me.. the whole world hates me!" Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."
When I was a child I had a condition where I had to eat mud three times a day in order to survive.
I'm so lucky my older brother told me about it!
Fred and his brother, "Donkey" walk into a pub and Fred gets the first pint in and says, "I'll have a pint for me and a pint for Donkey." The two guys drink their pints and Fred says, "Right donkey your round; I'll have a pint of Guiness." Donkey walks up to the bar and says, "2 p-p-p-pints of G-G-G-Guiness please." While donkey gets the pints, Fred goes to the toilet and the barman says, "Say, you shouldn't let him call you that stupid nickname." Donkey replies, "I know. He aw.. he aww... he awwwwww, he always calls me Donkey."
Redneck Dirty Talk
This brother was banging his sister, and he says, "You f*ck like Mom," and she laughs. He says, "What?" She says, "That's what Dad said."