Top Ten Reasons It's Good to be Italian.

10.  In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
9.  Not embarrassed to wear fur.
8.  No need to worry about tax returns.
7.  Glorious military history...
6.  ...well, until about 400 a.d.
5.  Can wear sunglasses inside.
4.  Political stability.
3.  Flexible working hours.
2. Live near the Pope.
1. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

Italian Organ Grinder

A bloke who was well known for his anti Italian sentiments, was walking down the street one day with a mate, when they came across a busking act, an Italian with an organ grinding monkey. Our incipient racist stunned his friend by throwing a couple of bucks into the hat. "I thought you hated Italians?" was the comment as the friend recovered. "Yeah, I do. But even I'll admit they're cute when they're little."

Italian Virgin Newlyweds

Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls his mother back. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!" The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit -- now what?"