Top Ten Reasons It's Good to be Italian.

10.  In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
9.  Not embarrassed to wear fur.
8.  No need to worry about tax returns.
7.  Glorious military history...
6.  ...well, until about 400 a.d.
5.  Can wear sunglasses inside.
4.  Political stability.
3.  Flexible working hours.
2. Live near the Pope.
1. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

Heaven And Hell

In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss.
In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian.

Italian Organ Grinder

A bloke who was well known for his anti Italian sentiments, was walking down the street one day with a mate, when they came across a busking act, an Italian with an organ grinding monkey. Our incipient racist stunned his friend by throwing a couple of bucks into the hat. "I thought you hated Italians?" was the comment as the friend recovered. "Yeah, I do. But even I'll admit they're cute when they're little."