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The best jokes and joke writers!

Merkel Bucks

Q: How does Germany pay for all the refugees?

A: Krautfunding.

Nasa's Astronaut's Baggage

Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, one was Russian, and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German, whilst the Russian decided to take along cigarettes. Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home. First came the American and his wife, and each of them had a baby in their arms. Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause. Suddenly, out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium, snarled at the crowd, and asked, "Has anyone got a friggin' match?"

Un-American

Q: What's the difference between Nike and the Nazis?

A: The Nazis respected their flag.

Brain Operation

This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his doctor and says, "I've just got to marry this woman, I love her so much." So the doctor says, "Well, it's risky, but okay." So into the operating room they go for the brain removal procedure. Later, when the German guy wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, "We are VERY sorry, but we accidentally removed 75% of your brain instead of 50%." The guy looks up and says, "Mama Mia!"

Language Trends of the Future

Language Trends of the Future

There are consistent trends in the past evolution of languages, and in all likelihood they will continue to change in the same fashion in the future. In 200 years, spoken French will have only one sound, a vowel. All consonants and gaps between words and sentences will disappear, leaving only an extended "Eauuuuuuuuuuuu..." Meaning will be inferred from facial expression. Written French will stay exactly the same.These consonants will not be entirely forgotten; they will migrate to Czechoslovakia, which will by that time have no use for vowels. In 200 years, the English vocabulary will be the union of all other vocabularies, but the spelling will be original. Similarly, the Japanese alphabet will be the union of all other alphabets in the world. The Cyrillic alphabet will eventually be the same as the Latin alphabet, only backwards. A mirror will suffice for translating Russian into Polish. Finally, in 200 years, entire books in Germany will be one word. Plus a verb at the end, of course.