Anheuser Busch

Helga hangs the wash out to dry, then goes downtown to pick up some dry cleaning. "Gootness, iss hot," she says as the sun beats down on her. She passes by a tavern and says, "Vy nought?" So she sits at the bar. "Bartender," she says. "I vill have unt cold beer, please." The bartender asks, "Anheuser Busch?" "Vell, fine, tanks," she says, "Just ah leetle svetty."

Knock Knock - Germany

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Germany!
Germany who!
Germany people knocking on your door?

Flying to Frankfurt

The following is supposedly a true story. The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short-tempered lot. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (Delta) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing. Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active." Ground: "Good Morning, taxi to your gate." The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now." Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop".