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The best jokes and joke writers!

Japan's Quality Standard

This speaks a lot about the Japanese quality standards and also cultural misunderstandings. They're still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept three defective parts per 10,000. When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter. "We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment. Hope this pleases you."

Three Chinese Daughters

A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the eldest daughter. He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the second daughter. He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the youngest daughter.

Three Chinese Tortures

One day a man goes into a hotel and asks for a room to stay in. The manager gives him a room and warns him not to mess around with his daughter or he'll get the "Three Chinese Tortures." On his way to his room the man sees the manager's daughter. She's very beautiful and he figures he'll endure whatever he has to. So he has his way with the daughter and retires to his room. The next morning when he wakes up he finds a rock on his chest. There is a note on it, reading: "FIRST CHINESE TORTURE: ROCK ON CHEST." The man laughs and throws the rock out the window. Then he sees a sign on the nightstand that says: ''SECOND CHINESE TORTURE: LEFT NUT TIED TO ROCK." He goes flying out the window after the rock but, as he does, he spots a sign on the windowsill that proclaims: "THIRD CHINESE TORTURE: RIGHT NUT TIED TO BED POST."

Large Friend

Just about to go to dinner with my overweight Asian friend, Chung Ki.

Japanese Banks

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of letting up. If anything, it's getting worse.  Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song.  Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.