Iranian Locked Out

Q: Did you hear about the Iranian who locked himself out of his car?
A: It took three hours to get his family out of it.

Polish People Milking a Cow

Q: How many polish people does it take to milk a cow?
A: 9, four to hold the legs, four to hold the udders, and one to tell them when to move the cow up and down.

Only In America

• A pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance.
• There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
• Sick people must walk to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front.
• Banks leave both vault doors open, but pens are chained to the counters.
• Expensive cars sit in the driveways and useless junk fills garages.
• People use voice mail to screen calls and call waiting to catch every call they might miss.
• Drive-Up ATM machines feature Braille lettering.