Only In America

• A pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance.
• There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
• Sick people must walk to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front.
• Banks leave both vault doors open, but pens are chained to the counters.
• Expensive cars sit in the driveways and useless junk fills garages.
• People use voice mail to screen calls and call waiting to catch every call they might miss.
• Drive-Up ATM machines feature Braille lettering.

Irish Starch

Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?
A: None.

KP Gingers

Q: Did you hear about Kim Jong Un's order to execute all red haired citizens in North Korea's capital city?
A: Seoul will have no gingers.