Stiff Decision

Q: What do Asians do when they have erections?
A: They vote.

Top Ten Reasons It's Good to be Italian.

10.  In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
9.  Not embarrassed to wear fur.
8.  No need to worry about tax returns.
7.  Glorious military history...
6.  ...well, until about 400 a.d.
5.  Can wear sunglasses inside.
4.  Political stability.
3.  Flexible working hours.
2. Live near the Pope.
1. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

He'd Wanted to be Buried at Sea

There is a story about the Irishman who drowned while he was digging a grave for a friend. He'd wanted to be buried at sea.