New Baby

Q. Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
A. No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

Did You Hear About The Redneck

Did you hear about the redneck who... spent four days in Sears looking for a miscarriage.

Mother's Milk

A medical student is taking a test and one of the questions he sees is: "Name the three best advantages of mother's milk." The student immediately writes, "One: It has all the healthful nutrients needed to sustain a baby. Two: It is inside the mother's body and therefore protected from germs and infections." But the student can't think of the third answer. Finally, he writes, "Three: It comes in such nice containers."